It all started with a trip to the dentist…

I was sitting in the uncomfortable plastic-covered chair at the dentist several years ago hating every moment because cotton in my mouth is the worst. Insult to injury, the TV lovingly placed for my viewing pleasure, was tilted so that the glare from the dental lights made it impossible to see. Flipping through bookmarked blogs on my phone seemed like a better use of my time anyway. I came across a one that cites a Harvard Business School study that found that husbands are ruining women’s careers, rather than children –  many believe the kids are really the culprits. It hit me then, as my mouth was stretched uncomfortably, I need a place to start talking about these issues.

As the founder of the reproductive health and justice movement, bebo mia inc. & Baby & Me Fitness, I am surrounded by activists, birthworkers and changemakers made up of the most overlooked employment demographic, folks who identify as women and mothers. So often I hear that these women are abandoning their passions because of their partners. Some of this is fixable. I want to help these women and families!

Spoiler Alert: We cannot do it all… and I don’t want to!

I want to start a dialogue about boundaries, and communication, and connecting to your power. It is effing impossible ‘doing it all’.

I get it!

I am a spouse to Hailey, and a mom to Gray, and I have hobbies, my body and heart and soul needs attention and care. I also have stuff I love doing: I love getting tattoos, I read so darn much it is hilarious and try to get in at least 3 books a week (fiction and non), I am a fanatic about jigsaw puzzles (again, try to do two or three 1000 piece puzzles a week), I do a lot of travelling and I feel recharged spending time with my group of amazing, supportive friends & chosen family. AND I created a social justice movement that requires copious amounts of care. My head hits my pillow every night with a feeling of fullness – and I have my deep grief of the state of the world as a constant hum in the background.

There are ways to finish the day without feeling drained or disappointed that another day went by and you are not doing what you love to do. Or that you did nothing for you. Or that you found yourself victim of human giver syndrome (hat tip to the Negoski sisters and their book Burnout).

I want to talk about that here too.

I know that feeling.

I lived in that state for a very long time.

I participated in hustle culture.

I wore exhaustion like a badge of honour. Proudly.

That is the patriarchy.

That kept me numb.

I did not connect to my feelings.

I did not share my fears or vulnerabilities. I couldn’t. My whole precarious world I had built would have come unraveled if I had.

I teach about showing up for you and your business and for the people you care about WHILE running an ethical and feminist brand or movement. Want to learn more about bebo mia’s feminist business school, check it out here.

Time for a digital dignity movement.

As I have spent nearly 17 years working in this space with fierce activists and changemakers I have found tremendous joy and passion. It is brave and exhausting overthrowing the patriarchy and working to burn down these systems that are keeping us sad, busy, stuck, exhausted, oppressed and sick.

Through this journey I have also discovered something that is deeply saddening. The infighting within the helpers and healers and activists is taking away from this really hard work we are trying to accomplish. This stems from a non-stop demand for perfection from one another. It is a continuation of perfection demanded from women. Perfection demanded from mothers. There is lateral verbal and emotional abuse happening at a staggering rate. Folks call it cancel culture or accountability culture. It is not accountability. It is not changing anything. It is causing harm that we are not acknowledging.

I will be deep diving about this as well.

It is not servicing us.

It needs to stop.

I will also share about stuff I like… or even love!

I get the privilege and honour of supporting folks who identify as women through their entrepreneurial ventures as a feminist business educator and cheerleader, so I come across products and brands that I absolutely adore! I will rant and rave about those things here too!

Thank you for being here and for being a part of my community.

xo

B