Comments on: The magic of motherhood has been stolen…I know the thief!

By: Alison Sprague

Alison Sprague — Sat, 16 Dec 2017 02:39:27 +0000

dear Bianca, Hope you feel better post hysterectomy. I Think of you every day.Love you always and forever. Your Auntie Alison

By: BiancaSprague

BiancaSprague — Fri, 08 Dec 2017 03:04:23 +0000

In reply to Kelly S. You are!!!!! xo

By: BiancaSprague

BiancaSprague — Fri, 08 Dec 2017 03:04:10 +0000

In reply to Debby. You are on! I am a week or 2 off from normal again, I hope!!

By: BiancaSprague

BiancaSprague — Fri, 08 Dec 2017 03:03:39 +0000

In reply to Jessica. Jessica, I am so sorry that you were in an abusive relationship! Statistically it starts in pregnancy, and that disgusts me so much. It hurts my heart! It is wonderful to hear that Ontario takes care of families that need emergency safety, housing and support. I am sending you so many hugs! xox

By: BiancaSprague

BiancaSprague — Fri, 08 Dec 2017 03:01:24 +0000

In reply to Amelia Rebolo. I am so happy to hear that you have a situation where you shine! Building a business takes time and love and a team of cheerleaders, I love hearing that your husband is on that cheer team! xo

By: BiancaSprague

BiancaSprague — Fri, 08 Dec 2017 02:51:29 +0000

In reply to Ella. I will be sharing solutions over the next few posts... I have been researching up a storm, there is definitely not a prescriptive method to fix this!

By: BiancaSprague

BiancaSprague — Fri, 08 Dec 2017 02:45:43 +0000

In reply to Marissa Bolanos. You are amazing and thank you for such kind words! I am honoured to hear I have inspired and empowered you. That is what I want most in the world! Tap into that well, Marissa, is runs SO deep in you! You are creative, caring, fun, silly, and have an intensity that is wonderful. xo

By: Debby

Debby — Wed, 06 Dec 2017 23:08:55 +0000

I found this very interesting and something I would like to discuss further. When you are recovered from your surgery, I’d love to chat.

By: Kelly S

Kelly S — Tue, 05 Dec 2017 20:39:26 +0000

I am one of the lucky ones…

By: Jessica

Jessica — Tue, 05 Dec 2017 20:13:46 +0000

Wow. This hit me really hard because that is the type of relationship I’ve been in for the past 5 years and I literally just left that abusive relationship a week ago. We unexpectedly got pregnant with our daughter during the “honeymoon stage” of our relationship, where he wasn’t abusive at all, but after I became pregnant, slowly he started becoming abusive financially, emotionally, sexually and psychologically (in our relationship he was Superior, Central, and Deserving) and I never recognized it as abuse because I had the same stereotypical view of an abusive relationship (angry hateful man that beats his wife). However, I knew instinctively that it wasn’t normal, but I was 21(young, so I doubted my instincts of what a normal relationship looked like and always chalked it up to Disney movies ruined it for me making me think that there’s such thing as “prince charming” and so now I had unrealistic expectation of a partner) and pregnant and tried my best to work hard to make the relationship work because I was pregnant and felt I had to commit, but also because of all those “honeymoon” periods of our relationship where it seemed like a normal relationship and gave me hope. I’m also a stay at home mother so I relied heavily on him financially and I was scared of what kind of life I’d be proving my children if I was relying on the government for assistance. It was also really important to me to homeschool and it broke my heart that that wouldn’t be possible if I left. A month ago I was very depressed, I thought to myself: I have to make a decision, stay with him and just put up with this awful relationship, or leave and be dependent on OW and housing until the children are old enough to go to school and get a crappy minimum wage job. It felt like it was a lose-lose situation. Either way, I knew I had to get out of the house, so I ended up at our local Women In Crisis shelter desperate for help (it’s actually a really nice place) and it was there that I learned about abusive relationships and received the support I needed to feel confident in leaving the relationship and I realised I couldn’t assume that in the future I’d be living a crappy life that I didn’t want for my children.

One thing that made a BIG difference for me to enable me to do leave was our government’s system to help support women in abusive relationships. In my city we have a safe nice shelter for women in abusive relationships, they have 2 crisis workers there 24/7 for support. They helped me out with referrals to the OW office, and housing application (in an abusive relationship you’re considered priority for housing so that you can get out of the home asap and I was welcome to stay at the shelter until I got an offer on a place and housing is really cheap rent so that made it possible to get onto my feet) and provided me with a 2 hour legal certificate to see a lawyer. They also had a child care room with Child Care Workers and they would watch the children so I didn’t have to worry about lugging two toddler to the appointments and they would provide bus passes to help with transportation to and from the appointments. If it wasn’t for the shelter’s support and services and our Governments help, I don’t know if I would’ve been able to leave the relationship.

Thak you for writing this Bianca. I’m still going through all the emotions of leaving an abusive relationship with 2 young children and this article really helped empower me. <3